So, I do have another blog where I post stuff. I can't make my mind up about blogs at all. I want a blog where I don't ramble on and on about what's going on in my life, etc.--where I just post my observations 'n such. That's my wordpress blog: just jill. But sometimes I just feel like RAMBLING about crap. So I guess that's what LJ can be for.

John has been talking about the spring cleaning he's been doing and for the love I need to clean my apartment. My room just has so much STUFF in it that I don't know where to start. And I always feel like I just DID the laundry. And dude, I've had time to clean it. I just haven't. What have I done instead? Read books, chatted online, tried to play Katamari (*STRESS*)...nothing terribly useful. It's the fact that it will take hours of my time to get my room how I want it. Hours. That's a lot of time.

Messy rooms aside, my new apartment is quite lovely. And I do enjoy living with Kimberly. Though I'm sure she wishes I would be more dedicated to Operation Watch One Piece.

So I'm doing two costumes for AX. First one is Kagura from Fruits Basket (even though I look nothing like her). My items were shipped from Target and I should be getting them shortly. My other one is some guy from Zombie Loan. I really should at least learn his name...Chika? Chi-something...I think. I should watch the show too. :P I haven't actually bought anything for that costume yet, but I've found things online that will work. It was Lauren's idea. We both kinda wanted to cross-dress so I told her if she could find a male anime duo with fairly easy costumes, I'd do it with her. And so she found Zombie Loan. It's classic Lauren too--bishy boys with handcuffs. Honestly. I fully plan on watching the show before AX (it's only 13 episodes), but I really should do it before I buy anything--make sure Lauren isn't getting me into some sort of yaoi cosplay. :P

James is in town this week. We went to Lehi for dinner (Asian Buffett...whoda thunk?). It was fun to be with such a large group, even though the end result usually means you only get to talk to whoever is on your end of the table. The following people were there: Ted, Dantzel, Adam (of Gradam fame), Brad, Troy, Kimberly, Rachel, Matt, James, and myself. Honestly, I really wish I could refer to them by their board names! Those were the days...Let's see how close I can get: Teddios, Dantzel wasn't a Quarkie, Rampaging Elk?, WarriorLives? (srsly, I forgot Brad's? I'm getting old...), Demos?, Philosophy, Roche-Chan (don't know if this is her board name, but it's what people called her), No idea, Flaw, AgentScully. Hm. That was full of fail. How sad.

In other news, I got a new job. I'm a content writer for two companies (both owned by the same guy): Awaken Soul Purpose (they do inspirational seminars, etc) and REIC (Real Estate Investors Club). I'll be ghostwriting blogs for REIC and probably writing blogs for Soul Purpose under my own name. I'll be writing workbooks, manuals, etc--any technical writing they need. I sure hope they have me at least proofread all their company emails if I'm not writing them to begin with. Because srsly...in the email they just sent there are more than 10 typos. O_o.

There's only one catch with this job: it's in Orem. And I live in Salt Lake. Downtown Salt Lake for that matter. Which means a one hour commute both ways. It's opposite of work traffic, so it isn't the worst case scenario, but I'm not pleased about it. There are a couple of options. Plan A: Try and negotiate with them to come in 2-3 times a week and work the rest from home. I thought it'd be a work from home job anyway, so this doesn't seem too far fetched to me. They will likely think otherwise, however. Plan B: Commute and listen to lots of books on tape. Plan C: Move to Orem. :/

My ultimate goal career-wise is to have my own writing company. I have a couple of clients outside my new job already that I have written workbooks, mission statements, and other things for, but not enough to sustain any sort of lifestyle outside my parent's basement. If I could eventually transition my work with Soul Purpose and REIC to freelance copy writing, that would be ideal. Then I can work from wherever.

Well that covers most areas of my life at the moment (that I feel like sharing anyway). I honestly doubt anyone even reads this blog still since I hop around so much. :P But sometimes it just feels good to write.

 My life is SO BORING. That is why I never post. F.Y.I. :P

The majority of my Power Hour today was spent reading different "10 Minutes to Transformation" emails from my work. I actually gained a few lovely insights during this exercise that I felt compelled to write down.

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time.”
~ Sir John Lubbock

Not that I have a problem with never letting myself relax or rest, but I thought that quote was nice. And it made me want to lie on the grass outside...if it was warmer.

Here was one of the questions from the Social portion:

Are the sacrifices I’m making now a part of a larger purpose? (Long term goals should enable us to have more free time to do what we want in the future, not create more stress. If the stress outweighs the benefits, it’s likely that your goal is ego-based.)

I had never considered whether my goals were healthy or not. Honestly, I thought it was good enough that I was setting goals in the first place! Luckily, after considering this question, I feel like the five goals on my star chart do not create more stress than is healthy. But when I thought back on some of the weekly goals I have made in this blog and even some of my New Year's resolutions, I can tell that some of those are definitely ego-based. Another question in this email said this:

Do I ever hang on to goals that are no longer in my best interest? (It’s okay to quit a goal that’s no longer aligns with your higher priorities.)

Now that I've realized some of the goals I have made for this year are ego-based, it's nice to have reassurance that it is okay to let go of those goals. Normally, I would send myself on a pointless guilt trip for "quitting."

And finally, there was a quote in the Financial section that stood out to me. I love how this company has made finances a spiritual thing, by the way.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
Gautama Siddharta (Buddha)

I hope you're having a lovely, productive, energized and happy day so far! If not...I hope your day takes a 180. ^_^

One of the partners at work has decided to give me financial coaching for free. When I first started working here, he told me he would give me a free financial audit. I can only assume that after looking at the current state of my finances, he realized I am in desperate need of financial coaching and that I could in no way pay for it. Thus the free coaching.

He gave me a few action items:
1-Pay my bills a few days early so I don't get stuck with late fees (sad that he has to tell me that).
2-Write down everything I spend money on in a notebook.
3-Commit to do a Power Hour for 52 days in a row.

So far, I've been doing all three. Hooray!

I still haven't cleaned up all of my clothes and misc items from all the shuffling I've done since Kimberly moved in. It's been about a month at this point. I'm kind of antsy to have things all cleaned up and tidy, but I feel no motivation to do the work once I get home.

I have decided to give myself a reward after I've completed two very important tasks. One would be the aforementioned cleaning. The second is having at least $200 in my savings account. Once I have both of those, I will see how much it would cost to get a canvas and some paints. I'll also price an easel, but that part isn't entirely necessary--just cool. Maybe after 52 days of a power hour I can get the easel--if it turns out to be a bit pricey. I would really like to try to paint something. I need to look up different mediums. I don't want to do watercolor. I want to do something thick and rich in color. So we'll see. The two tasks I have to accomplish are pretty much necessary since I need both the money and the space before I can even try to paint anything.

So I've started a very simple diet. It's very simple in that I can still eat a ridiculous amount of unhealthy foods if I wanted to (which, obviously, I still do). But let's face it--I'm not going to start eating celery and salads just because I wanna improve my figure. Baby steps. Anyway, it's called the S Diet. Kimberly told me about it. Some guy thought all the fad diets were really stupid so he made up the S Diet because it was pretty much a 'no duh' concept. Here are the rules:

1-No snacks.
2-No sweets.
3-No seconds.

Except on...
Saturdays
Sundays and
Special occasions

ZOMG HOW CLEVAR!!1!

I'll tell you something, though--no snacking is hard when you watch anime at night. And no sweets just sucks all around. At this point, I still go a bit overboard on the weekends to satisfy my sweet tooth, but at least I'm not doing it during the week. I've only messed up once since I start this almost two weeks ago, which is pretty cool. Whether or not this "diet" will actually work has yet to be seen.

I'm also going to Gold's Gym. Hooray! It helps to have a roommate that wants to go too. Otherwise, it would have been a fat waste of money (pun intended! HA!). Our goal is to go three times a week. This has been surprisingly difficult. Normally, it isn't because we're lazy either (though that has been the case maybe once or twice). It's because I'm so gosh darn busy! I don't know when it started, but it's like I have something to do almost every day every week.

For example, this week: yesterday I helped Jamie entertain her visiting co-workers (i.e. went to a haunted house), today I'm going to go home and take Caitlin to Barnes & Noble to get a new book, tomorrow I have to go to traffic school (yay), Thursday is the library preview sale (uber cheap books...woo!), Friday I'm going to my Grammy's for thanksgiving food so that Jamie's visiting co-workers don't have to take Trax home, and Saturday I'm going to the Pumpkin Festival at the farmer's market downtown.

I have two other goals I am keeping track of: go to church (good gravy Jill, go to effin church) and stop eating out. As you can see on Kimbelry's blog, we have made ourselves a nice little chart wherein we give ourselves shiny stars when we accomplish our goals for each day. So I have five daily goals. If I do a Power Hour, I get a shiny red star. If I follow the S Diet, I get a shiny green star (green stars not available on weekends or special occasions). If I go to Gold's Gym, I get a gold star (naturally). If I don't eat out that day, I get a silver star (I need more silver stars...). If I go to any church activity (church, enrichment, firesides, institute, meetings, etc.), I get a blue star. I <3 stickers--especially shiny ones.

Well I guess that does it for now. Yay for having a real update! ^_^

If you want to know what New York was like, Jamie does a nice, concise job of describing it:

http://quitstalling.blogspot.com/2008/10/ill-sing-it-in-your-face.html

Her blog is funny anyway, so you should read her other stuff.

I'll get my New York pictures up at some point, I promise.

I've decided I HATE MY DEPENDENCE ON MONEY.

Today seriously flew by at work. I can't believe I leave in 20 minutes. I wonder if Xanax had anything to do with that.

Jamie's taking me to IHOP tonight. <3

Lame entry, but better than nothing. Read Jamie's synopsis of our New York trip.

Jamie mentioned yesterday that I had been really "new age-y" lately and that it was annoying. Well, this entry is back to good old whiny, bitchy, depressed Jill. So prepare yourself.

Kris's therapist told her she was fat and that that is why she was depressed. That and she wasn't getting enough sun. Well which is it you over-paid useless idiot? Does fat=sad or shade=sad? I didn't go to a billion years of school, but I can tell you right now that you don't tell a bulimic cutter that she is sad because she's fat. If you feel the urge to cut, Kris, you should cut your therapist.

Moving on from violence to excessive cursing. I got pulled over for a ****ing red light today. I got a citation from ****ing Sandy City. They are the ones that nailed me for that ****ing speeding ticket (going 35 on a 25 road that should be at least 35). Did my red light cause an accident? No. Was it even an obvious red light? No. Did I cry after the policeman gave me the ticket like a total pathetic moron? **** yes.

And now on to classic self-loathing. I feel fat. I went through my clothes yesterday and had to give up/box up a good amount of them because they do not fit anymore. The undershirt I am wearing is a little too short (as long as I stay aware, I don't show anything...but who likes being aware of their gut all day?). And I'm only wearing it because I have to do laundry. So, I feel fat. Do I do anything about it? Sure! I bitch! And I buy salads and fruit that I end up throwing away when they've molded. And I think about exercising. al;nwej;zlxc;lcvbu. And do I want any of you to tell me I'm not fat or that you believe in me or that I can do it or any of that other motivational crapola? Nope. If I see any of that in a reply comment, I will delete it in order to save you the embarrassment of having ignored my wishes. I know that I'm overweight and that I'm not fat. I've been told both numerous times. There is nothing you can say that I haven't already heard and really I'm just saying all of this because I ****ing feel like it, not because I actually need help with any of it.

How 'bout some whining? I have a headache today and due to the fact that I'm wearing a shirt that makes me self-aware and that I got a traffic citation during my lunch break, the last thing I want to do right now is sit here at work and do data entry for 2 hours and 20 minutes. Yesterday I was closing up and knocked the stupid candle warmer onto the hardwood floor. I had to stay an extra half an hour using a butter knife to scrape overly scented pink wax off the floor. And today everyone has been like "what's this kinda greasy looking spot on the floor?" It's wax, dammit, wax, okay?! I SPILLED WAX EVERYWHEREZ. Want me to get back on my hands and knees in my dress and scrub some more? They are cleaning the floors tomorrow. So shut the eff up.

Olivia (my co-receptionist) asked me what I did with my hair because it looked different. I said nothing but thought, "it's called grease because I didn't shower because I woke up five minutes before I had to leave but thanks for noticing."

I sent one of Garrett's clients a reminder email for her appointment today. And here is what she said back:

As I've told Garrett several times, I don't need emails and phone call reminders about my appointments.  I actually don't appreciate the clutter in my email inbox.  Please make a note of this so I don't have to remind every new assistant of his.  I am quite capable of remembering my appointments.

Oh are you?! Are you capable?! QUITE capable even?! WELL GOOD CUZ I WAS LOSING SLEEP OVER YOUR MEMORY CAPABILITIES!!1!! If I was brave I would have replied with "I'm sorry you felt like being a bitch today."

Well that does it for now. Please comment so I don't feel like no one listens to me when I complain. Just don't mention anything about body weight. But seriously--take two seconds to comment. Even if it's random and has nothing to do with the post. Just bloody comment.

Today has been a roller coaster of anxiety, depression, happiness, contentment, and back again. I’m anxious over money, depressed because I keep sleeping in and eating out, happy when I’m listening to music and content when I’m busy at work. I haven’t set weekly goals in a while, so I think I’ll do that now. It is Monday, after all.

 Goals for this week:

1. Get ½ of everything organized in the apartment.
2. Get the other ½ of everything organized in the apartment.
3. Do a Power Hour 4/7 days this week.
4. Bring lunch to work 3/5 days this week.
5. Clean the car inside & out.
6. Drop off a bunch of stuff at the D.I.
7. Go to all three hours of church & pay tithing on Sunday.
8. Start one of the now two assignments you’ve been given by the missionaries.
9. See the Joseph Smith movie at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building.

 Okay, we’ll say I need to do three of those.

I really was going to write a lot more about what’s been going on with me lately, but work got busy. And due to the contentedness it offered me, I chose to work whenever possible. Hopefully I’ll be getting the internet in my apartment soon, so then I can update off the clock. ^_^

Garrett White just said, "Bye way over qualified front desk princess!" on his way out the door.

I am in love with Garrett White.

So many attractive men at work that are already married.